MY bech-es!

"they make me happy even during my breakdown moments & Low-Liest times..."

got some rest from crying...

my mind is currentLy nearing  shut off... finaLLy, i got some rest from crying... so im writing... because i have to Let this out... because i think i haven't said enough... &&& because i think writing wouLd heLp me... even a LiL bit at Least... 

i knew from the very beginning that im not good with taLks or confrontations (unLess im confronting someone who did something bad to me, Like fighting confrontations...)... because most of the time, i never get to say the things i wanted to say... i'd end up crying & not be abLe to taLk...

so i'm Letting it aLL out here... i dunno if you'LL be abLe to read this... but who knows, maybe someday you'LL get to read it... 

--> " i'm sorry... sorry for everything... sorry for hurting you... sorry for not being abLe to teLL you aLL this... sorry for shutting you out whenever i get paranoid... sorry for being seLfish... sorry for chickening out... i'm. reaLLy. sorry. for. everything...

my reason may be one-sided... but i hope you'd understand...

i'm not giving up... i'm stiLL hoping... that maybe one day, someday, things wouLd be better for us... that US couLd happen, even with this... 

for now, you couLd hate me... i'd understand... you can be mad,,, coz normaL peopLe wouLd be mad... &&& i stiLL think, i don't deserve your gift... but thank you... & know that i Love you..." 

today can't get any worse, can it?

=( i couLd say that this day is one of the worst day i've had so far... =(

_>> so, i faiLed the 1st quiz of my 2nd semester... when i saw my grade, it's Like i have no chance to come back at aLL... i feeL Like crap! i feeL useLess! i feeL pathetic!

_>> then... i did something... something bad... i've hurt someone... actuaLLy, i've been hurting that someone for a whiLe now... then, i ended up hurting myseLf even more... 

_>> my eyes are burning... i've been crying for a whiLe... it's Like i don't have eyes anymore... but it feeLs Like there are more tears coming... *sigh* i dunno when it wiLL stop... but i hope sooner...

_>> i think i need some saving... im suicidaL!!!

FiNALLY... SNOW!!!

finaLLy... i got to see SNOW!!!

went on a trip with friends to Big Bear for 3 days & 2 nights...

awesome! uber fun! 

memories:

--> chuck norris turned jack norris turned jack & jiLL... hahaha

--> Life insurance! cLassic!

--> reaL snow baLL fight!

--> cowboy express...

--> oooohhh taboo!

--> Lots of fart-moments coz of Laughing non-stop...

--> chismis!!!

--> sLeigh ride!!! =D

FiLL iT OUT FOR ME...

WHAT WOULD YOU DO iF:

_>> i committed suicide:

_>> i said i Liked you:

_>> i caLLed you:

_>> i kissed you:

_>> i Lived next door to you:

_>> i started smoking:

_>> i stoLe something:

_>> i was hospitaLized:

_>> i ran away from home:

_>> i got into a fight and you weren't there:

WHAT DO YOU THiNK OF MY:

_>> personaLity:

_>> eyes:

_>> face:

_>> hair:

_>> cLothes

_>> mannerisms:

RANDOM QUESTiONS:

_>> who are you?

_>> are we friends?

_>> have we met yet?

_>> how have i affected you?

_>> what do you think of me so far?

_>> what's the fondest memory you have of me?

_>> how Long do you think we wiLL be friends or enemies?

_>> do you Love me?

_>> have i ever hurt you?

_>> wouLd you hug me?

_>> wouLd you kiss me?

_>> are we cLose?

_>> emotionaLLy, what stands out?

_>> do you wish i was cooLer?

_>> on a scaLe of 1-10, how nice am i?

_>> give me a nickname & expLain why you picked it:

_>> am i Love-abLe?

_>> how Long have you known me?

_>> describe me in one word:

_>> what was your first impression of me?

_>> do you stiLL think that way about me now?

_>> what do you think my weakness is?

_>> do you think i'LL get married?

_>> what about me makes you happy?

_>> what about me makes you sad?

_>> what reminds you of me?

_>> what's something you wouLd change about me?

_>> how weLL do you know me?

_>> ever wanted to teLL me something but couLdn't?

_>> do you think i wouLd kiLL someone?

_>> are you going to put this on your journaL and see what i say about you?

_>> wouLd you fLirt with me?

_>> wouLd you be my pen paL?

_>> wouLd you caLL if you had my number?

_>> do you think im cute at aLL?

_>> do you honestLy think im dorky?

_>> how do i know you?

_>> why are you fiLLing this out?

_>> are you tired yet?

YOU THiNK YOU KNOW ME:

_>> what's my middLe name?

_>> when's my birthday?

_>> what are you getting me for my birthday?

_>> what's my favorite coLor?

_>> name something random you know about me...

_>> i'm aLways...

_>> what's my favorite song?

_>> who's my best friend?

_>> what's my favorite word?

_>> who do you think is my favorite super hero?