"wait for me i'm aLmost ready when he meant LET GO..." -sara bareiLLes

Current Mood: 30% = okay... 70% = ???

"have you ever feLt water just sitting at the edge of your eyes... you try berry hard not to Let it out, but its just there... & then, a LittLe bit Later, you Loose... not juz you Lost,,, but now, you can't stop it from faLLing down your face.. have you ever feLt that?"

--> don't say im emo... im juz asking... =P

"Lots of things happened in the past few days of my uber busy Life... good stuffs & some bad stuffs... so, it is reaLLy true - you can NEVER sLack off when your in the nursing program... coz if you do, bad stufss may happen & it wiLL bite your behind & it wiLL hurt! but that's not even the worst part yet... worst is,,, this "thing"... this "thing" that as much as possibLe, i don't want to taLk about.. but i know, sooner or Later it wiLL haunt me... this "thing" that makes me scarred... this "thing" that makes me think a Lot... &&& this "thing" makes water sit at the edge of my eyes..."

--> what wiLL happen if this "thing" happens... what if i...? what wouLd you...? wiLL you...?

"i've been Listening to this song since my sister introduced it to me... its berry deep! fave Line::: "wait for me i'm aLmost ready when he meant Let go..." *sigh* im scurred!"

--> i wiLL teLL you... soon... coz you deserve to know... juz be patient.. i wiLL teLL you... in my kind of soon soon...

"countdown wiLL start tomorrow... but im broke... im jobLess... which makes me sad... =/"

--> i need a job!

this is the most unnaturaL, unearthLy, freaky, strange, bizarre, surreaL, crazy, wacky feeLing!

>>> i'm supposed to be studying right now but i can't... something's bothering me & i need to Let it out... i don't know who to taLk to, so i decided to bLog about it... &&& Let the whoLe worLd know! ha! what a smartee!!! hahaha

>>> see, i am ok!!! i am fine!!! the Nursing Program keeps me busy & i am fine!!! did i say im fine? yeah, im fine!!!!!!!!!!

untiL now... im stiLL ok though... im stiLL fine... ish juz that,,, i reaLized... "i miss you!"

hahahahahahahahahaha =D =D =D

>>> i dunno!

>>> i miss our friendship... our taLks... our conversations.. our "tawanan & kuLitan", our "chemistry"...

>>> u get me,,, i beLieve... &&& i get you,,, i think... in a weird, funny, hiLarious way... Like you know... sometimes when you're with a person or a friend... you may not taLk or say anything but you know that you both know what each other is thinking... then you Laugh! coz its hiLarious!

>>> i dunno!!! somehow, at this very moment, im wishing you'd caLL... but i know you won't & you wouLdn't.. because i chose this! & it is the right thing to do...

>>> it wiLL pass... this wiLL pass... fosho! i know it... been there, done that! a few breather wiLL do it... haha =D

~~~ oh FYi & for the record... i am sooooo NOT taLking about my two "best friends"... they are sooooo NOT this person!!! because even if they're the Last two peopLe on earth, i wouLdn't wish they'd caLL me. period. nuff said!

*** ooohhh!!! &&& happy birthday to me cuz = meLissa! Labshu!!! ^_^

MOViNG ON

"this is the Last time i wiLL cry for you... because i can't do this anymore... because i am not that girL, & i don't wanna be that girL... because its unheaLthy... and because i wanna be a better person... and, so that next time we see each other, it wiLL be you who wiLL feeL crappy... JOKE! hehehe but yeah, this is it... im Letting go... im Letting go aLL my hopes, aLL my dreams, & aLL my day dreams with you... &&& im reaLLy gLad to see that you're doing great...

Let's aLL be happy... Life is too short to dweLL on sadness...

{totaLLy disconnected... random...} we shouLd aLL joing forces and not buy gas at those top Leading oiL companies (Like sheLL - which by the way had their reguLar gas at $4.19! watf??? aLso chevron, BP, exxon, & mobiL)... we can Lower gas prices if we act together hehe

LastLy,,, worLd peace meyn!!!"

ps::: now who wouLd be so kind as to treat me to Kabuki's tempura ice cream? hehehehe it couLd be your support gift for me! hehehe Let me know... ^_^ 

The End??? (pubLic version)

The End???

sabi ko kasi basahin mo yung suLat na ginawa ko para sayo...  tapos pagka-basa mo, at kung gusto mo pa ko makausap... tawagan mo ko...

March 15, 2008 @ 11:38 am... tumawag ka... our conversation Lasted for 2:46:01...

naaLaLa ko ang unang sinabi mo sakin... natamaan ka ng sobra sa sinuLat ko na "gusto ko na pwede ko hawakan yung tenga mo kahit nasan ako... pero i guess, hindi pwede..." nagpatawa ka pa nga, na puputuLin mo yung isa mong tenga tapos ibibigay mo sakin...

sinagot mo yung suLat ko... at isusuLat ko dito Lahat ng natatandaan kong sinabi mo, dahiL sinabi mo Lang sakin... baka kasi dumating ang araw na makaLimutan mo mga sinabi mo...

sabi mo::: kung nagseseLos at nasasaktan ako, ikaw din... ayaw mo Lang sabihin kasi ayaw mo ng mag-isip ako ng kung ano... sabi mo rin you cherish the day that we had the chance na magkasama tayo... sabi mo din,,, kung maaari Lang na saLuhin mo ko bago pa ko bumagsak ng tuLuyan sa ground, sasaLuhin mo ko... na darating ka bago ko mahuLog... naiyak nga ako nung sabihin mo to eh... tapos tinanong mo ko kung nasaktan ako ng hindi ka Lumingon... OO! sobra... dahiL sa mga sandaLing yun,,, i was hoping & wishing na LiLingon ka... na i don't care kahit makita mo kong umiiyak, kasi kung Lumingon ka... at Least i have something to hoLd on to... pero hindi mo na maLaLaman to, dahiL hindi ka Lumingon... sabi mo din naiintindihan mo ko, na hindi ako seLfish for choosing this... dahiL aLam mong napapagod din ako... at sabi mo din, na kapag dumating ang araw na hindi ka Lang dumadaan & you're gonna stay... sasabihin mo sakin... isisigaw mo pa nga kahit aLam mong katabi mo Lang ako at naririnig kita, sabi mo isisigaw mo parin... dahiL ganun mo ako... ganun mo ako kamahaL... sabi mo din ok ka nung mga panahong hindi tayo nag-uusap pero Lagi mo pa rin ako naaaLaLa at iniisip kung ok ako o hindi... sabi mo din, you'LL aLways be here for me... sabi mo din, ita-try mong maging ok para maging ok ako... na since papasok na ko sa nursing program, ibigay ko ang Lahat ko para makaLimot at maging ok ako... na wag na kitang intindihin kahit na piLit kong sinasabi sayo na yun ang catch... na yo have to promise me you'LL be ok para maging ok ako... at sabi mo::: "i wanna say something i've been hoLding out since before... uhmmm... *sigh*... i Love you..."

aLam mo bang sa mga sandaLing sinabi mo sakin yun... gusto ko bawiin Lahat ng sinabi ko... gusto kong isumbong sayo yung taong umaaway sakin ngayon, yung taong sinasaktan ako ngayon... para awayin mo din siLa... gusto ko din sabihin sayo na i think i've faLLen for you... pero hindi ko nasabi... piniLi kong hindi sabihin... dahiL ito piniLi ko... ako ang may gusto nito so i have to be strong... oo! umiiyak ako kanina, pero i guess you won't know that... & you didn't know that... but i was & i stiLL am...

& in the end... we Let each other go...

sabi mo kasi, gagawin mo ang Lahat dahiL yun ang gusto ko... pero hindi ko naman taLaga gusto to... pero kasi, ito Lang ang aLam kong paraan para maka-move on tayong pareho... aaminin ko,,, ayoko sana... at sana pwede yung sana... pero hindi ko na pwedeng bawiin...

pano kung hindi dumating yung araw na makakabaLik ka, na hindi ka Lang dumadaan? pano kung hindi dumating yung araw na pwede mo ng isigaw sakin na you're here to stay? pano kung hindi ako maging ok? pano kung naiyak parin ako, hindi man gabi-gabi... pero naiyak pa rin ako dahiL dito? pano kung makita kita isang araw tapos ang saya saya mo na, at tingin ko ok ka na, maging ok kaya taLaga ako? o baka naman sinasabi ko Lang na magiging ok ako kung ok ka pero hindi taLaga, dahiL deep inside im stiLL hoping na masaya ka dahiL sakin... pano yun?

sana nga taLaga maintindihan mo ako baLang araw... na hindi ko ginusto to, hindi ko gusto na gawin to, na iwan ka... pero i think its the "RiGHT" thing to do... hindi ko aLam kung magiging ok ako sa desisyon kong to... hindi ko rin aLam kung magiging ok ang Lahat kapag ginawa ko to... sana tama ang naging desisyon ko... sana

so this is it... the end that i never thought wouLd even begin... and the beginning i never imagined wouLd happen,,, nor did i thought wouLd even exist... is this reaLLy the end? if so, i just want you to know that yes,,, i've faLLen for you... i've faLLen in Love with you... 

Dear Lakay,,,

pano kung ok na ko... magiging ok ka narin ba?

pano kung sabihin ko sayo ngayon na ok na ko... ok na ko na hanggang ganito na Lang...

kasi...

minsan nagseseLos ako,,, waLa naman akong karapatang magseLos...

madaLas nasasaktan ako,,, kahit hindi naman dapat...

i don't wanna be Like this! i don't wanna be THAT kind of girL... gusto ko Lang maging masaya... don't get wrong though... im very happy i met you... i don't regret anything... masaya ko pag nakakasama kita... masaya ako pag nakakausap kita... masaya ako pag nakikita kita... pero maLi eh! hindi tama... kasi may mahaL ka na... may pinangakuan ka na ng pagmamahaL mo... na kahit mawaLa ako, may sasaLo sayo... e sakin, nagkabaLi-baLi na buto ko... waLa pa ring sumasaLo... hindi naman pwede na ganito naLang ako Lagi... gusto ko din naman maging masaya... gusto ko na pwede ko hawakan yung tenga mo kahit nasan ako... pero i guess, hindi pwede...

pano kung sabihin ko sayo na simuLa sa araw na to... tuturuan ko na ang sariLi ko na mag-move on... tuturuan ko na ang sariLi ko na wag ng umasa... tuturuan ko na ang sariLi ko na tanggapin na hanggang magkaibigan naLang tayo... masakit... mahirap... pero kaiLangan ko gawin to... para sakin... para kahit hindi ka na uLit Lumingon, hindi na masakit... at para rin sayo,,, para maibigay mo ang Lahat sa taong nagmamahaL ng sobra sayo...

i hope you understand... kahit hindi ngayon, sana baLang araw maintindihan mo ko... seLfish man pakinggan, pero kaiLangan ko naman magtira ng kahit konti para sa sariLi ko... i can onLy wait & hoLd out for too Long... napapagod din ako... pero kung sakaLing muLi tayong pagtagpuin ng tadhana, na waLang kasamang kumpLikasyon... na you're not just passing by, but you're gonna stay... sana batiin mo ko... sabihin mo sakin... kapag ayaw kong makinig, isigaw mo... basta, ipaaLam mo sakin... sabihin mo sakin...

magiging ok ka ba? maipapangako mo ba sakin na magiging masaya ka? na gagawin mo ang Lahat para maging masaya ka?

sana kaya kong sabihin sayo to... pero hindi eh, hindi ko kaya... so, im sorry... sorry for not teLLing you this in person... at sorry din kung nasaktan ka... im sorry...

-bAsHa-

2007 - 2008

~ Juz a few of my discoveries (that i remembered) in 2007...

1. choco-dipped carameL popcorn are one of the most awesome inventions ever!

2. One More Chance is a great movie... (top 1 pinoy movie of 2007)

3. forgetting ur keys inside the car for the first time is freaky! but expect it to happen again... hahaha

4. doing micro Lab journaLs the day before finaLs is soooooo NOT a good idea!

5. Chris Brown is a berry good dancer... &&& he's onLy wat? 18???

6. Gossip GirL is the new MUST-SEE TV show besides Grey's Anatomy...

7. "CLOSURE" - everybody needs cLosure...

8. im stiLL Looking for my "pErsOn"...

9. i can paint! =P

10. PiNESEE = u guys are the best!!! & amishoo aLready!!!

11. apoLogize by TimbaLand = top 1 song of 2007

12. one of the greatest Lesson::: "but now faith, hope, Love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is Love."

13. some peopLe may not be the person you had hope they were... =(

14. found out that i trust peopLe berry fast... but some peopLe break it faster!

15. "truth hurts... but its worth hearing - so that once & for aLL matauhan ka!" -tekim

16. Kabuki = top 1 restaurant of 2007

17. sometimes, we hope for the one we can't have... even if they hurted us at one point... bakit kaya?

18. frozen yogurt with fresh fruits = top 1 "make-me-happy" dessert!

19. my famiLy makes me str...D

20. i turned 20! psshh =P

~ a new beginning... something to Look forward!

2 - spring break at NY

0 - Nursing Program

0 - Learning how to use chopsticks

8 - magic! fireworks! LOVE!